post 56


I never realized some people actually put up with all my neuroses and actually read the stuff I write here.. Hmm... amazing. Sardonic yet still amazing.

So I write.

Finally... the ineluctable. I graduated last Sunday. For years, I've been looking forward to this day and everything just feels like a tad bit more nostalgic than yesterday. Now that it's over, everything's beginning to surface in ways that I've underestimated. As I pivot my head for the last time and gaze at the things which have immensely affected me, I pine for nothing more because everything did happen for very momentuous reasons. No regrets as they've said to death. The things I've said to death however, the things I've chosen to believe in and deem important has idosyncratically taken shape in myself. As some of us hark back at what they will surely miss, I can only say goodbye. And goodbyes are not always a means of cropping out a definite end to things. Not for me at least. Surmising the worst, Shading the dimness, Hankering for what cannot feasibly come back... these are but mere verbs to me. Yet I choose to follow neither of these three because I simply want to start anew with everything I've got and fought for. In my own way of seeing it, I recognized more clearly right now the things I've opted not to see at first... Not so strange, in fact, my classmates have never been the same throughout. Well, obviously. As their fluctuating demeanors suit them as they've desired, we see things that we may have hated or loved. And as this transpires, we're killing society by tolerating the former. So what option do we have when we're faced with such? Are we the passive type who, wounded like the rest, choose perversion and non-reaction? Or are we the ones who have deviated and, by God's mercy, have survived by amalgamating with the persecuted? Heck... adaptation has clearly reared both its ugly head and otherwise. Change: a sure thing. Too bad many of them still do not really care about the shitpit they're digging themselves into. Too bad almost everyone's busy being part of an inert collective effort of satirization and cluelessness. Gossip. Repeat after me: "Onga noh... fuck this part of my life that I'm guilty of." Slowly now. Hmm... try being in the shoes of the people you've mocked and poured out all your filthily disguised precariousness into. Trying to be nice has been overrated for a lot of them. They've put too much premium on their asses that they consequently forget what's really essential. *stepping up on a pulpit* They've wasted their time trying to scathingly be the mirror image of the thing they've been really hating in the first place. To grasp the fact that we're really graduating from all this will entail a lot more than the diplomas and the passed-down togas we're going to wear. It'll be more on undermining our pride and finding a remedy to our narrow-mindedness and our inclination to stifle ourselves.

Nevertheless, I want to give my most sincere thanks to everyone. Your acceptance, your hatred, your mockery, your appreciation, your superficiality, your strange bliss, your trust, your "i-think-this-is-some-really-corny-shit-right-here-way-of-thinking," your non-reaction, your apathy, your understanding, yourself... everyone and everything has contributed to my being whole as a person.

So there. My thoughts on something so obvious... I'll give out some messages to every one of my classmates ASAP.

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Stuff I've should've written last, last Wednesday:

Hmm.. We just finished practicing for the graduation rites by the way. No hassle. Really. To me, I saw it more of the last time I'm ever gonna wear a uniform again. Last friggin time baby... :) Haha.

A little flashback: The Grad ball was synonymous with one of the happiest moments of my life. Hands down, the dance was the best part of it all; spun her a few times before we slow-danced and just... wow.. Kissed her a few times. It was so emotional. I felt like the biggest cheesecake on planet earth when I said I loved her so much... So little time, so much to really say... Jamie was so beautiful. *silent shriek* Everything turned out to be a lot better than what I expected I guess. :) I gave her lots of things.. Basta. I gave her three CD's during the ride home... Some of the songs can be found on the playlist on the left side of this blog. I got home really late.. around close to 2 am that night.. I mean.. morning. Back to the ball a bit, I saw a lot of people I rarely got to see... There was Conch(er), Edwin's date.. in orange. She was..... a contrast to what she seems to be when she signs in the tag-board. Quiet eh. I guess everyone cared about being poised and all.. Hehe. Not me. Hmmm.. who else.. I saw Hannah, my cousin (Mark's date). I saw Riva.. the drummer. Randy.. hey. nothing. haha! I saw Andi.. she looked like a... doll.. mehn... Who else.. well, the bands weren't bad. They played well. Incubus' Talk shows on mute was played.. prior to the flute version of Goldfinger's More today than yesterday. By the way... Joseph brought a date. :) King and Dani were the dancing king and queen of the night. Would you believe that?? Haha.. Tigas. Argh. This paragraph is so incoherent... Forgive me.

Anyway, I enjoyed every minute of it all.


The day after... was fun. I woke up late. Washed the car. Went to the grad practice, which was from 2 to 5. Then, I hung out with Randy and Bote after that. I went to their house... which involved a lot of teasing and uncontrolled laughter.. We went to Seattle's Best after getting a new vehicle to take us to Saisaki after we met with the rest of the group: Abre (the suicidal), Edwin, Pong-man, and Fidel. We met up with Rani, Yno, Kelvin and Macky at Saisaki in Edsa that night. Ahhh... that meant buffet and we were all starving like vultures pining for the nearest fresh raw meat. Raw... That consequently meant... sushi. So there we were, stuffing our mouths with everything that we could see. No holding back. Fuck the diet. Sarap mehn. Tempura.. Angus beef.. lahat.. basta. :) Then.. I realized I was short on money. Ahh.. fuct. So.. Randy had to cover my ass and spared me from washing dishes that night (THANKS A LOT.. I'll pay you soon... pati si Rael.. sorry.). Dammit. Haha. So there... I had fun. I even tried out a fretless bass after eating loads of ice cream mehn.. :) Alright. How often can you do that?? Roque: consumer/defiler of the night. Sumo appetite. Lahat inubos. Grabe. Nalugi na yung Saisaki at saka yung Kamayan eh... Randy helped himself with his fetish: LECHON. Eww... I can't eat that. Baboy na baboy eh. The pig was cooked right there and there. No cutting. Just a thawed pig, skewered, and cooked.. Yak mehn. Sorry ha. Basta. I'd rather help myself with a salad. :) What a night.

I missed her.

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But you know what I really miss...? JAMMING! Oh god... Kelangan kong pumalo!!! Drums... I'm pining for the beat.. I need to hit something mehn... And more's bound to do a cover of Yellowcard's Ocean Avenue. That's this Saturday's thing... If Poch decides to stay in Cavite.. what options do we have? If he can't come.. Rael might as well take his place TEMPORARILY to play a little bit of guitar. *emphasis on temporarily* But I think he'll come.. Fun.. Can't wait. We might even get a slot on a Millenia gig on the 16th of this month... along with Pleasurebox :)

I plan on doing a cover of YELLOWCARD'S OCEAN AVENUE... bandmates, take note.. pati na rin si Rael. Study your parts. We might also do the Screaming Infidelities with drums... Now I know... you guys are too friggin hardcore for this.. but wouldn't you want some diversity? Edwin, I suggest the D-G major pattern for the song plus the prechorus riff, which I'll teach when we get there.. for the "your hair is everywhere part," shift to E minor then a variation of A.. basta.. What else... Hmmm.. Rage Against the Machine tayo.. Vietnow! It's quite easy. The hardest part might be memorizing the rap...

Ok.. para hindi magulo, I'll list 'em down.
COVER SONGS:

01. Yellowcard's Ocean Avenue
02. Dashboard Confessional's Screaming Infidelities (tentative)
03. Rage Against the Machine's Vietnow, Bombtrack, Know Your Enemy... lahat na.
04. Deftones's Be Quiet and Drive (yung acoustic version.. lagyan ko na lang ng drums para parang ginaya na natin yung Kabute.. hehehehe)
05. Deftones' Street Carp
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Tapusin na natin yung mga compo natin... Omega Red? Edwin yung riffs mo sa bagong kanta, dagdagan ko na lang ng sa akin.. Basta. Tapos lagyan natin ng bass ni Isi siguro SA PRACTICE.

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On to another thing... Joseph's birthday party last Friday was FUN. We were a small group. I'll give you some key words.. DVD's. Guitar. Red Wine. Mashed Potatoes. Caramel Cake. Sushi. Beef w/ Mushroom. Hmmm... Lonestar Beeeeeeeeer... Isang cooler punong puno nun o... Hehe. Kami-kami lang eh.. Inubos lahat. There was Joseph, Me, Edwin, Diego, Chip, Dave, and an obese creature named Rani Roque. Grabe mehn.. ANG DAMING PAGKAIN!! Diego.. Oh ma' gawd.. Consumerism. Extremist... Tangina.. Wala na.. Total infringement of the fine line between humans and other animals.. Wala na.. It fucking defeated the purpose of having the candle-light dinner... Rani.. Cocoy.. Hahahahaha... Mehn.. Di ko makakalimutan yung gabing yun.. I went home at around 2 am.. I MISSED JAMIE..

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I'm definitely going to the ADMU next year. Taking up Comtech. But rumor has it it's really more of an entreprenurial course rather than something on Communications... which I sort of prefer.. My options leave me to check it out the course first then if I'm happy with it.. I'll stick to it, if not, I'll shift to a more apt one.

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Anyway... I've just arrived from Baguio. Monday to Thursday spelled stuffing my stomach with chicken (sawang sawa na ako!!!), drinking strawberry wine, buying lots of things in the market, attending parties, the beer hangout with Paul Frank, jamming at the Baguio Country Club with Dad and Paul, eating ice cream for free, making poems for Jamie and just for the heck of it, reading "The Purpose Driven Life".. a book Jamie gave me for my grad.. Haay... thank you. I MISSED YOU SOOOOOO MUCH... I love you.

Well, the whole thing was a pre-vacation.. obviously because there aren't any beaches there and I do want to bask in the sun and all while staring at the ocean to take a vacation.. so this'll be the vacation prior to the real vacation... which will be in.... Boracay?? I'm not sure. Hmmmm... labo. Haha.. Basta beach. And that's that.