Finally. An update.

You guys should check out this album. Greatest Hits ng stp.. I wasn't really into them only til recently...



And... Billy Corgan's debut on the literary scene as well..



Well it's been quite a while since my last and to tell you the truth, I've been considering that nudge on my arnis-maimed-back that has hollered the half-truth that maybe, just fucking maybe, I've been actually... REALLY tired of expressing myself so goddamn vibrantllllllllllllyyyyyyyyy.

I AM SO FUCKING TIRED. I WANT TO DISCARD MYSELF... AND SLEEP SOUNDLY.

Ayoko nang kayanin pa. Putangina.......

Nagpaparami lang naman tayo sa mundo...

We swagger through days, months, and years tolerating the intolerably piquant truth.. and that is the crushing bluff of existence that we are all aligned to create this massive strutting parade.

That's the sordid reality.

We're all the same.

--------

I am so exasperated of hearing this person sing and distort Story of the Year's "Anthem of Our Dying Day." Even worse, he's "diva-nizing" this song.. in the sense that, minus the "colloqiality".. he adds his personal campus-radio-ish rendition. Putangina. There's even this slowwitted acapella version.. So lame!!! I can't believe emo's getting its share of attention too late in the game... kind of like ants teaming up and devouring a cake, thus losing its value. Not that emo hasn't any value, but the thing is.. the fact that it's getting too famous is annoying.

Shit!

Whatever happened to what really sounds nice? I mean.. just spend some time watching Eat Bulaga... Everything's sounding so bouncy, robotic, and eerily repetitive...

Variety has become 'too spicy' to add to life these days.

-------

HAAY.... I miss you so much, Jamie... if you only REALLY (12X) know how much i've been missing you... Ayoko na magparamdam! It doesn't seem to work even though I'm willing to understand the situation. I just feel bad. Pagod na talaga ako............................................. Why can't you tell me anything?

I always think about you. You've no idea how much my hands involuntarily scribble your name on my notebooks and so much more, really... I feel bad because we might not see each other this weekend... I feel bad because I try so hard to understand the way you do things but I only end up being more wrong than what's really wrong in the first place... I feel bad not because of you but because of myself. I just want the best for you but the things around us don't let you see it as is. I hate it...

I MISS YOU. :(

I really do.

I cannot begin to vaguely paint how much I want to break all the self-interest I have within me and consequently and lose my grip on how effusive things ought to be but they aren't. I feel so freaking incoherent.

I wish I would just evaporate now and make things alright for you. Only you... Nobody else.






I only want to love you.