1. Annihilation
2. Imagine
3. (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace Love And Understanding
4. What's Going On
5. Passive
6. Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie
7. People are People
8. Freedom of Choice
9. Let's Have A War
10. Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums
11. When the Levee Breaks
12. Fiddle and the Drum
--------------------------
Yes, the breaks are long enough to have me roaming around so aimless in fact that I kind of have this strange inclination to normality of some sorts.
HA?! Pweh!
I just miss Jamie a lot. I really really really do...
--------------------------
The sem break was great "perse". :D I rested, watched A LOT of movies, went out a lot, ate exotic food, and did a lot of catching up with my family, bands and of course, Jamie. To be quite blunt, certain crucial things have made me brood over Jamie and I. And what transpired in my case has changed me more than I ever knew. Yes, I was selfish too many times, I was lacking in understanding, I was... a scampering apology-timebomb clicking away til I finally said it and things were a tad bit too late and all the shrapnel scraped off covering and bloodied exit paths. I was liably in my own mire. I WAS. For the past 2-3 days, I just hated myself for acting as such . Right now, I just want to say sorry again for not understanding and I just want to treat her right and love her for who she truly is. No matter what. The thing is...I just care about her so much. But sometimes, I tend to overthink, over"feel", and overdo things to the point that I became more than really stupid and awry for seeing things in my own angle. That was awful and I'm sorry. I've gone self-centered so much so that I took her for granted. The phonecalls were smothering. I'm sorry. I never meant to make her feel bad. I've always told myself that being with her has always been a serious thing for me because I've always wanted to be with someone like her. I've never been so happy just to be with her. :) :) :) There shouldn't be any condition of some sort to irresolutely stifle what we have. I just don't believe in separation, let alone, divorce... but that's just not connected now is it? Anyway... people should work on their relationships because they matter more than anything in this world. I've invested a lot on us and though we have our low times, she should know that I'm always going to be here. I'm always going to love her unconditionally despite all the bad stuff we've been through. I know things and experiences have catapulted me to become who I am right now--that I am, and so are all of us, an imperfection. But to me, she's one helluva beautiful imperfection!!! She's not just hot...err..beautiful physically. She's so much greater inside. Grabe. Knowing her for more than a year has changed me for the better. I guess I just want to return the favor.. I just want to make her happier.. And if that entails for me to be hurt, then so be it. I don't care about myself as much as before anymore. I don't want to. It's all Jamie etched on a new sub-organ in my brain.
I was made for this and I'll stick it out.
I'll always love you, Jamie.
No comments:
Post a Comment